Sorrow aka Galau

Suddenly in the morning, have a mood to write in my blog.

okay, i dont know why..but the older you are, the more complicated your life is. And i'll try to list what's my problem recently, since i have a problem with heart-to-heart conversation to others.

1st. my bestfriend hates me, what can be worse than this one ? i know this is my fault. :( but with no conversation for a while it doesn't mean that i want to end up this friendship right ? please, please understand... this year is a difficult year to me. a super dark year. i mean it. it's a hard year. i need a support. really. i am sorry for everything, really. there is no word that can describe the pain when i know i lost you as a friend. my fault. my fault.

2nd. okaaaaaay, please everybody say i dont wanna be in love, say i dont wanna be in love!!!!please, please, i dont wanna be in love if it just summon any pain. i dont need more pain, no... okay, i'll tell you. i am in crush with one of my senior at Remaja Ceria. hahaha glad to know that it just a crush, since i dont wanna be in love. and as you know, this crush has a hard way to catch it's aim. or, maybe i am the one who don't want to catch up this aim. hey, i am the girl, not him. i am the one who has to be catched up, not catching around. gaaaaaarh! it's hard since i have a big jealousy inside my heart. but, it doesnt matter. i am recover easily ( and down easily too! :D). i'll find another crush!!

3rd. stressed out about steering comitee PSNMHII Paramadina. grrrrr! it will be easier if i work with someone that doesnt hate me... my bestfriend for example. i cant work with her :(( what i'm supposed to do ?

4th. about my pocket condition aka moneeeeeeey. i need money please! give me a job! anything! kyaaaaaa!

5th. about my baby. haha no no, i dont have any baby since i dont have any guy :p the 5th problem is... all of these problem always spinning in my head. never stop as long as i open my eyes.

God, i am not ask you to make my life easier... i ask you to give me a strength to face these all. and a cold heart. a cold heart makes this life easier...